Flow – The Winner’s Zone


Fall in love with the FLOW of the process and success will follow!

Guest Blog By: Carmen E. Burnham, MSW

As I reflected on what to share with you, the word “FLOW” flashed across my mind.  You’ve heard the expression, “get in the flow” or “let it flow!” What images does “flow” provoke for you? Flow of water? Flow of cash? “Or, “just let your love flow?”  Usually the word “flow” presents positive images, right? Now, FLOW has another meaning. It has gained fame in the field f Psychology and means “to be in the zone.” Getting in the “flow” can be both a spiritual and a mental state that causes the knowing that you have the potential to succeed.  Flow helps to maximize your potential to succeed.  As I allowed myself to “flow” in gaining inspiration to write this, the word “flow” came as an acronym. Let’s see what F-L-O-W includes.


“F” – is for Focus. The latin word for focus is Hearth.  A hearth is where a fire burns. It has to do with your passion.  Staying engaged in the flow of your passion fuels your motivation.  Focus means intense concentration. One area of “being in the zone” is “being in the now!” Being focused “on the now” causes connection with what matters like your goals, or the person you are conversing with at the moment.  I have made it a goal of mine to be fully engaged with the person I am conversing with as if they are the only one in my life at the moment, because he or she is! And let’s not forget Who is to be our ultimate focus.  He, for whom our hearts burn with passion. Focusing on His life flowing into you even now yields His presence that fosters advancement.


“L” – is Listen.  I always teach there are 3 to whom we are to listen- The Lord, ourselves and others. To listen to the Lord for His instruction requires listening to the flow coming from your heart. “Be still and know I am God.”*  Listening requires “being in the zone.”  We also need to listen to our “gut’ which is that safety mechanism that is like a green light that tells us to go ahead with our plans or a red light that means “stop do not advance to GO and do not collect $200.00” – there is danger ahead.  This type of listening sharpens our skills to listen to our clients,  which builds relationship and insures accurate fulfillment of client’s’ needs, which insures success in your field of endeavor(s).


“O” – Optimum is the best level or state that could be achieved; The best results coming from the most favorable, the most suitable advantageous conditions or results. “Being in the flow”  presents one with the highest experience of functioning in faith, in confidence in yourself and presenting the best of yourself professionally. Gold medalist talk about “being in the zone.” Like an Olympian, order to reach your goal(s) you must focus on what behaviors you need to achieve the optimum.  We are told by Jesus and by Paul “to press towards the mark of the prize of the high calling”**  knowing that whatever we are doing, we are ultimately to bring God glory. Optimum fosters the spirit of excellence.


“W” – Wisdom determines how prepared you are to engage with the power that propels you towards your purpose. When we lack wisdom, we lack confidence, and direction.  We have a tendency to stay stuck instead of FLOW. When the Lord states, “I will make you the head and not the tail,”*** it literally means I will give you the ability to make wise choices in life.  Wisdom dictates that you must invest in yourself to be at your optimum flow.  You are worth it to invest in you!


“Being in the flow” has to do with being at ease. There is a joy that accompanies the flow because you are engaging in the current of what you have been anointed to do.

The anointing makes everything seem easy. The anointing is what causes you to flow! But remember you are not engaging in the flow alone.  You have the God of the universe who has called you to flow and backs you up as you go- so enjoy the FLOW! *Ps. 47:10; **Phil.3:14; ***Deut. 28:13


carmen-2017-2Rev. Carmen E. Burnham, MSW is currently working on obtaining a Doctor of Divinity Degree, is former CEO of Life Enhancers, Inc; Co-hosted a daily one hour live counseling program- “Insights for Life and TV program- The Divine Life. . She is a  married mother of three grown daughters and a granddaughter. In ministry (Conquerors in Christ) and head of her private Christian Psychotherapy Counseling center since 1990, she is spiritual mentor and coach to many.


Growth Is Optional

Growing Means You Are Living, Moving Forward and Actively change-is-inevitable-growth-is-optional-2Participating – not Stagnant or Stuck.

Our lives and our businesses all go through many phases.  It’s important to remember that no one is perfect and no one has it all figured out.  I believe we all must stay in the growing process…. all the time and all our lives.  To stop growing on purpose is the #1 killer of life and business.

The beginning of the year is the perfect time to take a REAL look at where you have been and more importantly where you want to go and how to get there!

Evaluate yourself and or your business.
Here are the top 7 signs you would benefit from coaching:

  1. Maxxed Out and Overwhelmed
  2. Trapped
  3. Cornered
  4. Magic Bullet Syndrome
  5. Going in Circles
  6. Feeling Alone
  7. Bumping Up But Not Over Your Goals ( OR Status Quo )

What you are missing without the right COACH:
Strategy Help and Guidance


Coaching helps you get out of your own way.  What I mean is that when you are flying solo there is only YOU to blame when you aren’t seeing the results you’d hope for. No one grows in a vacuum.  So, if you are constantly moving deadlines out, rescheduling your personal time  – you are most likely your own bottleneck.

Book A Free Coaching Assessment Call NOW!

What About Bob?!

We all have those days…. You know- when nothing seems to be going our way and you’re ready to just start the day over again. I know I certainly do. Usually I notice it in a traffic jam when I’m ‘talking through my windshield’  “What IS it with everyone today?”   Cue the  video in my head. An  Oscar worthy dramatization of characters and events which proves my point that – YES everyone is crazy today!.

John Maxwell calls this the BOB PRINCIPLE (Winning With People) which states:
When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem!
So many times our attitude is allowed to create a wrong perspective.  It’s not intuitive to have self accountable reality checks when we life happens.  Our natural mind immediately adopts a victim mindset which may be helpful to our ego and maybe even suffices an immediate painful self discovery.  But believe me it isn’t going to help us in the long run AND because it is a false sense of protection it’s kind of like the icing on a stale cake! Yuck!

I once met a woman in a meeting and as soon as we were introduced I simply asked if she lived nearby. She rolled her eyes and said ” Well – I USED to live in the “such and such” neighborhood in a 4000 square foot home but now I live on the other side of town in a 900 square foot apartment.  You see, my husband left me for another woman (more details than I can share…)  and then I lost my job … I’ve just been getting by with part time jobs since then – I’m looking for a new job now in fact because the people at work are not nice to me and my boss gives me grief about stuff I can’t control like traffic- He doesn’t drive in the traffic- he comes in at 9:30 or 10 everyday when traffic is over can you believe that?” When it was my turn again – I said “Wow! that’s really alot to handle – when did your husband leave ?”  – “It was 14 years ago, right after our last child went off to college…I don’t know why bad things keep happening to me”  By the way she shared the details and even dates you would have thought is was really recent.
I guess the more you deny the easier it becomes to keep blaming.  Eventually it’s easier to believe the lie we’ve told ourselves to get through it than to start uncovering the pain and deal with reality.  As they say – it’s a slippery slope. Or maybe it’s slippery ladder that we can choose to start climbing or just go where gravity pulls us.  Like I said before, it isn’t natural or intuitive to be accountable – we have to choose to learn it and practice it.

So what can we do to avoid becoming BOB?

  1. When “life happens” train yourself to ask the question “Is this me being Bob today?”   ” Am I looking at this from my BOB perspective?”
  2. Listen to the questions you ask others and yourself? Are they VICTIM or ACCOUNTABLE questions? (see below)
  3. Memorize a couple of delay tactics and avoid decisions when you can. If you can apply these to others and even yourself you can buy a little time to process a reply rather than react in the raw.  (i.e. “let me chew on this a while”… ” I’m going to think this through”  ” I’m not sure how I feel right now “,    ask yourself –  “I have so much on my mind at the moment – is it absolutely necessary that I respond right away?”
  4. Watch and guard your energy level. Bob the victim loses lots of energy little by little as things progress and then at the end of day even the feeling of overwhelm somehow validates the victim thinking which then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
  5. Monitor what you are doing to COUNTERACT the natural tendency to lean into victim thinking and behavior.
    1. Practice Affirmations
    2. Count Your Blessings
    3. READ about Accountability
    4. Listen to positive, upbeat music
    5. Memorize scripture
    6. Plan time just for RESTING – Don’t say YES to everything and everyone!


VICTIM                                                                                        ACCOUNTABILITY

“Why is this happening to me?”                         “This is the way it is- let’s get to work”

“Why doesn’t someone do something?”             “What can I do?”

“I did my part – it’s not my fault”                       “What are my options?”

“It’s not my job”                                                        “I will find a solution”

“Why can’t I get a break?”                                     “What do I need to do differently ?”

“If it were meant to be it would happen”         “Let’s try a different way (again)”

The LADDER Goes Both Ways – YOU CHOOSE!
VICTIM                                         ACCOUNTABILITY

  • Fights Reality / Stays In Denial                      Acknowledges & Values Truth & Clarity
  • Blames Others/Flighty Without Focus         Owns It and Has ENERGY & FOCUS
  • Personal Excuses/Deflection                           Finds Solutions/Possibilities
  • Stuck in WAIT & HOPE                                      Gets Into Action
  • Resignation/Status Quo                                    Change

    Like the boiling frog – things get worse as we go DOWN the ladder.
    The faster you can start upward the easier!


What’s Your Ceiling?

ceilingAre you struggling with one or more of what I call “Ceiling Symptoms”?

  1. Ceiling of Paralysis–  You are overwhelmed with ideas and information and have several incomplete projects waiting to be addressed.   Coaching will help you prioritize, evaluate and then implement and take action !
  2. Ceiling of Attention– You have a great service or product but not enough customers or clients.  Coaching will lead you to new marketing & prospecting strategies to help you find more business quickly.
  3. Ceiling of Talent–You are distracted and bogged down with things outside your strengths or expertise.  You could bring in more business if you weren’t doing everyone’s else’s job.  Perhaps you have hired and DE-hired but can’t seem to find the right fit for your team.  Coaching and Consulting can help you implement a powerful and effective hiring system that will save you time, money and stress.

I call these the common “ceilings” because these are the common issues we all run up against. These road blocks  seem to slow, stop or block growth in our business.  We all came into our business with natural abilities, gifts and talents — these usually lead us into a measure of success, but only to a certain level.  You must continue to seek, learn and explore ways to improve and push your business forward.  It doesn’t just happen, you have to initiate change and push forward. Pushing through these ceilings can lead to extraordinary results.  Coaching leads you through the process of breaking through your ceilings with specific tools and training to get back to loving your business – and loving your life!

Sound familiar? Ready to get started? Complete this quick form and we will be in touch soon.

Don’t Give Up

Daughter of the King

Some days it seems like I need a reminder that I AM Royalty!  (where’s my royal maid!- LOL)  I am a daughter of the King!

Some days I need to change my perspective so I can once again be at peace, move in my calling, stand on His promises…..  I’m so glad that even when I am faithless – He is faithful and He has promised to never leave me or forsake me.  So what happens to my faith – why do I just want to throw my hands in the air somedays and GIVE UP? Why is there such a struggle to stay in that place of faith and perseverance?    I’ve said it before … I get filled up with faith … but then ….I LEAK!    Time to plug the holes and get under the faucet.

One day I was ready to give up when the Lord said to me “look around you – what do you see?  Where are you?”   It took me a while to get it, but I started with the obvious.  ‘ I see my bedroom Lord, my walls…. my chair…’  Then I started to understand the question.  What have I surrounded myself with?  Is there encouragement readily available?  The Word? Music for my spirit?   Changing my environment and purposely placing myself in the middle of faith and hope can change my thinking and it changes ME!  You can’t expect to stay in a place of faith and fullness when you’re surrounded by negative people, thoughts or input.  What’s input?   It’s what going in to you – either intentional .

There’s a battle going on everyday for my thoughts – for my feelings and my emotions.  My spirit wants to lead and does a much better job than when my soul is in charge. (mind, will and emotions).  Knowing there’s a battle going on in my mind helps me to remember to be prepared and to watch what I’m surrounding myself with.  It’s not enough to just read my Bible and listen to worshipful music.  I might be able to maintain with that plan – but in order to get ahead I have to memorize scripture – speak it outloud and remind my soul who is really in charge. I like to have a retreat day or weekend where I can really disconnect from everything and just get alone with God.  See what’s on His mind — no list of requests – just time to say “Lord, what do you want to say to me today? What’s on YOUR heart today? – I’m here to rest in you today and bless you …and just to listen.”

It’s a challenge to make it happen – but so important.
I think of Psalm103– “Bless the Lord Oh My Soul and all that is within me bless His holy name!”  It reads like a command to my soul to wake up and bless the Lord – because I said so!!